Helpful Tips in Apologizing and Repairing Your Relationship:

*Take the risk and apologize.  Be a bit vulnerable, vulnerability allows for intimacy and paves the way for you to re-connect.

*Let go of worries that the apology might be used against you later.

*Leave the word "if" out of apologies.  "I'm sorry if . . ." is not as powerful as explaining you understand what you did that was hurtful. 

*Don't follow your apology with "but."

*Describe the error/offense you've committed to let your partner know you "get it." 

*Empathize with your partner, discuss the effect you think this error had on him/her.

*Explain to your partner why you committed the offense, and show remorse.  If your partner knows you have thought about behaviors and reasons leading up to the error, it is reassuring, almost like "He/She really understands the problem here and won't do it again."

*Discuss your plan for how this offense will not occur again.  Explain your desire to do better, and express your effors and intentions to prevent this from happening again.

*Write out your apology, either to organize your thoughts, or present the written apology to your partner.

*Don't wait too long to seek assistance.  If you find yourself constantly apologizing, or that your apologies don't seem to make much of a a difference, consider allowing someone to help your relationship.  Couples therapy can provide assistance in getting through the rough spots in relationships, and work to strengthen the relationship.